Real Emotion
by Jexsam
Summary: The limit here is too small for my summary so it's included with the first chapter. Rated T for mature themes. No specific pairings by the way, but the OC may have his moments.
1. Prologue

Real Emotion

Summary: The Organisation are currently without a permanent base and have discovered a world much different to what they've seen before. It's much larger than any world they know, magic doesn't exist there and it's untouched by Heartless or Nobody. One of the investigating members meddles a little too much and ends up introducing the Heartless, creating chaos. One of the world's inhabitants creates a human Nobody, and this is his story.

Prologue: Denouement of the Heart

Watching the morning news before college, I noticed a story unlike any I'd seen before. People were describing these creatures they had seen in the night. Short, black, humanoid, with vivid yellow eyes and large antennae. I'd just dismissed them among the likes of UFOs.

Later, in college one of my friends brought up the subject of the creatures. She was fascinated by them but I could see a bit of worry in her eyes, for some reason. Nevertheless, she wasn't exactly a rational person. She believed that her stuffed animals came alive when she slept. Others were not so convinced, saying it's probably some idiots pulling a prank.

On the way home, it was getting dark. With it being winter and college finishing in the late afternoon, we were used to it by now. But something seemed a little off. A lot of the street lamps were faulty and couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Walking along, I see a flash of movement. I assumed a trick of the light and moved on. It was almost total darkness and suddenly something black jumped up in front of me. Yellow eyes and large antennae. I thought of the things mentioned this morning, it must be the same. Before I could think further, it lunged and I narrowly dodged its assault. I made a run for it but that beast was unrelenting. A shadow rushed in front and it popped back up. It jumped, I slipped on ice and fell to the ground. Pain and frustration surged through me; a disastrous mix that lead to a terribly familiar, vicious, psychotic state. I felt myself lose control as I let out a feral scream and attacked the creature with unrelenting fury, fear flashing through its eyes as I strike and slash and bite with animalistic power. From the first wound a black substance oozed out and diffused away. Soon the creature had disappeared and I was left lying on the ground, tears streaming with the pain of returning to sanity. It's agony, returning from psychosis. My head feels like it's about to explode and my limbs feel like lead. I don't notice more of the black creatures until one fluttered into my vision and plunged its spindly arm into my chest, pulling out a glowing heart shape with pure glee in its eyes as I fall out of consciousness.

Author's Note:  
This may be a tad short but this is just a quick introduction before the real story starts. These are the main characters final thoughts before his Nobody is created. If you find any discrepancies or contradictions, inform me and I'll rectify it as soon as I can.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, it would look more like a psychological horror. I'm not gonna say that again. Everyone reads the stories from the start, otherwise, what's the bloody point?

Chapter 1

The first things I noticed when I woke up were that my torso felt incredibly constricted and my ears felt quite sore for some reason. Upon opening my eyes I found myself in what appeared to be a hospital room, given the clinical look. But something felt off. The walls appeared to be bare metal with portions exposing pipes and cables and it was quite cold, hospitals aren't like this. Come to think of it, what kind of madness would result in me ending up in a completely unfamilar hospital and no recollection of it? I soon found the source of the discomfort in my ears, I had earplugs in them. I took them out, figuring that they'd been in a while to cause the soreness. That wasn't the end of the strangeness. Looking outside, I saw it was night but there were no stars at all and the sky was pitch black.

Before I could ponder on my predicament any longer, I heard footsteps approaching. But as the footsteps became louder, I thought I was hallucinating a bit as they continued for quite a while. When they finally stopped though, I heard the door handle click and the door, surprisingly slowly, open. A tall, blond man tentatively stepped inside and closed the door, apparently to avoid making any noise. But I somehow heard the noise clearly. This was weird... The man noticed I was awake and gave a rather creepy, forced smile,

"I see you have awoken," he said. It sounded like he was whispering but I could hear it clear as day. He tiptoe'd towards a bedside table (this man is very strange, I thought) and picked up the pair of earplugs I'd taken out. He "whispered" again,

"I'd suggest you keep these in, it seems you have a heightened ability for auditory perception. When we first took you in, we noticed that you visibly recoiled at even moderate noises. We aren't sure if this is the case, but we used these earplugs for your protection while you were exposed to any noises." I put them back in as he looked rather stern and I didn't feel like starting any arguments. "Did you notice anything unusual while you had the earplugs removed?" It looked, and sounded, like he was talking normally.

"Er, yeah. Before you came in the room, your footsteps sounded really loud, and when you were talking before I put them in, I could tell you were whispering but I could hear it as clearly as if you were talking normally."

"Very interesting. I'll have to contact the Superior and tell him you've awoken. He's the one who's in charge around here and he's very curious about you. He'll answer any of your questions too." I didn't like the sound of that at all, "I'm Vexen, the resident doctor and scientist."

"I'm James. Since when do doctors wear black, leather trenchcoats? Although, they do look pretty cool."

"This is no ordinary material, it is impervious to almost all harmful and corrosive substances."

"It still doesn't explain the odd appearance. Why can't they make it look more like a normal lab coat?"

"As I said, you can ask all you like when I am back." he replied, then walked away.

"Dodge the question, why dont you?" I murmured to myself.

When he left, boredom soon crept into my mind. I thought of hoisting myself up into a sitting position, but when I moved, I found something that I was surprised I didn't notice straight away. There was a large crater-like scar where my heart was. Vexen and his "Superior" have questions to answer, indeed.

A while after Vexen left, I heard a rustling noise outside. I knew today was weird enough but what happened next took the biscuit. Three grey, ghost like things floated through the door, seemingly swam through the air and hovered in front of me. On closer inspection they looked like distorted, humaniod puppets, with zips for mouths. Then they talked without moving their mouths!

"Ooh, he's awake!"

"I wonder if he has helpers." One of them talked directly to me,

"We know you're one of us, my liege." Now I'm confused.

"I haven't a clue where I am and how I got here, and now I'm suddenly your lord?"

"Not until you've been initiated," It quickly glanced at the door "Which we're sure will be very soon."

As if on cue, the door opened and the creatures vanished.

Vexen sighed.

"It looks like our cover is blown, Superior," he said, "I thought you blocked them from this area."

"I did," a more baritone voice replied, "But it seems we underestimated the determination in their mischief."

"I'd be careful, Superior, he's extremely inquisitive."

"I'll bear that in mind."

They walked in, and I saw that the Superior was a tall, dark man with long, rather spikey, grey hair and was wearing the same trenchcoat as Vexen. But he had rather striking amber-orange eyes. They can't be natural.

"Hello." I gave them a small wave.

"So you've finally awoken." the Superior said. His voice was weird; monotone and devoid of any emotion, "By what you've shown us, you hold great potential."

"Vexen told me I could ask you all my questions."

"That is correct"

"Then let's get straight to the point," I didn't care if he was in a high position, I needed all the answers, "Why am I here?"

"I told you," Vexen said "He's set in his ways. I need to leave to attend to other tasks. Farewell, Superior."

After Vexen had left, the Superior turned to me and stared into my eyes. A stare so deep it felt like he could see the darkest depths of my mind.

"You would like to know why you are here." His stare never ceased, "You must know that the world as you know it has ceased to be while you were in your slumber."

"Get to the point, already!" I retorted.

"Look outside and you'll see."

I leant over to get a better view out of the window and was deeply troubled and confused at what I saw. I could see I was in some sort of castle when I saw the surrounding towers and stretching for miles was an endless city. But most striking of all was the giant heart shaped moon in the sky.

"Where the hell am I?"

"This is all that remains of a world so isolated that when the Heartless finally set foot, they found no resistance to their invasion. You were one of the first to fall."

"Heartless?"

"A good example of the seperation. The Heartless are the greatest plight on the universe ever faced. For everyone killed by a Heartless becomes Heartless themselves."

"All very poetic, but what the hell is a Heartless?"

The Superior clapped his hands and another grey creature appeared, but this one looked a bit like a druid.

"You called, my lord?"

"Go capture a neoshadow and bring it here."

"As you wish, my lord."

"What are those things?" Confusion displayed clearly on my face.

"They are like us, they fell to the Heartless but survived, but didn't have the strength to keep their humanity. They still have their intelligence, so they are a useful asset."

Before we could talk anymore, the creature reappeared, followed by a glowing, red, wireframe cage holding a black, humanoid creature with giant antennae and glowing yellow eyes.

"That is one of the more common Heartless, a Neoshadow,"

I didn't say anything at the time, but that creature gave me a great feeling of déja vu.

"The Heartless are nothing more than monsters driven by instinct. This one has exceeded its use."

The cage imploded, crushing the Neoshadow and vanishing. The druid-creature then departed.

"Moving on to more important issues, you need to get mobile. Did Vexen tell you how long you've been here?"

"No."

"Six months. So if you don't want severe muscular atrophy, get moving."

"Six months? What the hell happened?"

"You were attacked by a Heartless," He placed a finger to my scar "You are one of us now. You have lost your heart, but with us you can regain it."

I placed my hand to my heart.

"My heart? But I can feel it beating."

"Unfortunate circumstances have resulted in two very different things bearing the same name. I am not talking about the organ that pumps blood around the body; but rather the almost ethereal organ that provides humans with complex feelings and emotions."

_What?_

"That goes against everything I know about the origin of emotions"

"How do you mean?"

"I'm no expert in biology but I always thought it's the limbic system in the brain that's responsible for emotions"

"You'll have to ask Vexen about it, he'll know more."

He raised his right arm and a series of translucent reversed letters appeared and floated in the air spelling out my name. A large 'x' appeared in the middle and the other letters span around it for a couple of seconds. When they stopped, a new combination appeared.

"Welcome to Organisation XIII, Jexsam."

"A new name, huh?"

"To signify your new life"

Author's Notes

As said in the prologue, I have no beta tester so contact me if you wanna volunteer.

This looks like a self-insert fic, and it is. I'm not gonna hide it. I've had this in my mind for to long to let it go now.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Initiation

Quick Author's Note: I bloody suck at pacing.

"You'll need clothes, so one of our members has been kind enough to make you some."

He made a small portal and plunged his arm in, pulling out a set of clothes.

"Now that you're a member of our organisation, you'll need to wear our uniform. Don't worry, I won't invade on your privacy."

He made a larger portal, and walked into it.

I tried to get up after apparently six months of inactivity, and indeed, time had taken its toll. I felt wobbly on my feet, suddenly felt light headed and saw flashing colours. I supported myself on a bedside table till my vision returned to normal then made my way to put the clothes on.

I was surprised at the quality of the materials in the garments. The trenchcoat was top quality leather with a luxurious silk lining that seemed to flow over my skin like water, but the hood seemed excessively large. The rest was rather plain: boxer shorts (the fact that they fitted perfectly creeped me out), t-shirt, combat trousers, trainers etc. all in black. I guessed this must be some kind of pseudo-uniform, but why all in black? I liked the gloves though, not tight to restrict movement but secure at the wrist so they won't come off.

As soon as I had finished dressing, I was startled at the Superior returning through a portal again.

"Do you have to do that!"

"It's a convenience that you'll use regularly once you find out the size of the place where we live."

"Is it some kind of fancy technology?"

"No, it's an ability all Nobodies have. We can create Corridors of Darkness at will."

"Nobodies? That sounds kinda insulting."

"It's because we have lost what truly makes us human; the capacity for emotions."

"To be really honest, I think I can tell." It truly was a sad circumstance.

"But you are an anomaly. You have somehow retained your emotions. If we can find out why, then it will be a great asset to our research programme."

"What are you researching?"

"How to regain our hearts, of course." He created a portal, "I feel the small talk has continued for too long, we have yet to perform our little initiation ceremony. Don't worry, it's nothing major: I just introduce you to our colleagues and explain how you will contribute to our cause." He gestured towards the portal.

"You really expect me to walk through that thing?"

"You'll get used to it very quickly, it just feels like a strong breeze."

"If you say so..."

I approached the portal and gingerly walked through. The Superior followed me inside. It felt rather weird. It looked like we were walking on thin air and there were little symbols spinning around the pathway against a purple background.

"Where are we going?"

"To our meeting room; it's called Where Nothing Gathers. I called a meeting while you were dressing, for your initiation."

"Are you nihilists or something, 'cause you seem to talk a lot about nothingness."

"It reflects who we are; rejected by both Realms of Light and Darkness."

"Er, Light and Darkness? Are all my questions just going to get more questions?"

"You know very little yet. One who knows nothing can understand nothing."

"Well, if you're gonna be blunt about it..."

"We have arrived."

I hadn't noticed the exit until we were right in front of it. We walked into a tall, circular, strikingly bright room with thirteen thrones at various heights and a corridor leading out.

"Not many here."

"Not many have the will to keep who they are. You are to wait outside until the other members arrive."he pointed at the corridor, "Now, before they come."

He showed no emotion, but I knew it'd be better to obey him. So, reluctantly, I walk out the room.

I saw two of the small nobodies waiting for me in a small room containing a few chairs. They were just standing there in a slack posture, arms waving to and fro. I figured this'll be a great time to ask some question:, they must know something about the organisation.

"How much do you know about the organisation?"

One of them faced me and spoke telepathically,

"We are only Dusks, they tend not to indulge information to us. Instead, we are usually posted on reconnaisance, relaying information that is of interest to the Organisation. The Organisation is not internally secretive, you are free to ask as many questions as you wish."

"Oh, that's good."

"I've noticed there's different kinds of Nobody. There's you, and I've seen one that looks like a druid. Are there more?"

"Yes. The Creepers are the companions given to us, given that we are not as strong as other types, they can take different forms, and are therefore unpredictable. The Superior controls the Sorcerors, the ones you described before..." It suddenly looked at the corridor, "You are summoned, my liege." Well, that's surprising. I'm not even a member for half an hour and I'm already respected. Anyway, I made my way to the round room to find every throne filled. Everyone was wearing the same black leather trenchcoats. The Superior acknowledged my presence and started talking.

"As you can see, our ranks have grown beyond our quota. This isn't a bad thing. In fact, this Nobody has managed to keep what no other has; his emotions."

"How can you be sure of this?" a blue-haired man replied,

"It may be due to the nature of this realm. As you know, there are no forces of Light or Darkness here, but true neutrality. The only reason this world is covered in darkness is because Number IX foolishly let a Heartless follow him while performing recon here." He was staring at a young man with a blond mullet. "You can see the differences when the inhabitants were killed by the Heartless. Their bodies didn't disappear as usual. They just died. It seems the people here are not linked with their hearts, yet they are still capable of emotion. If we can find out why they can feel emotion, it will provide an excellent boost to our progress. They had no magic, no knowledge of Kingdom Hearts, just an incredible capability to develop technology. You can see that just by looking at the surrounding city." This time a young man, about my age with long black hair partially obscuring his face, spoke up,

"If they couldn't use magic, then why are we able to?"

"It's the heart that provides the means for magic. So without a link to their hearts, they can't access magic."

"So will Number XV not be able to use magic?"

"I cannot say for sure."

"Well, there's only one way to find out, really." I said, "Why don't you give me something to try out?" To be honest, magic is the least of my concerns in this weird place.

"Yeah," A guy with massive, spiky red hair leant forward on his throne, "If he's any good it'll give him a head start in combat."

"Combat!" I never was a fighter, I was mostly a pacifist.

"People tend to be rather hostile towards our kind." the Superior explained.

"And he's not gonna last long without a weapon!" said an older man with a heavily scarred face and eyepatch. Funnily enough he had a SoCal surfer accent.

"You didn't have many weapons where you came from, did you?" asked the Superior.

"No, just the police and armed forces, but even they couldn't use them on a whim. There's nothing to kill other than people who want to kill you."

"Sounds like a nice place!" the old man retorted.

There was a moment of silence.

"If there are no more questions," said the Superior, "you are dismissed. Numbers IV and V, I'd like a word with you."

Ten of the members vanished, while the Superior, Vexen and a giant, muscular, stern looking man teleported to the middle of the room.

The Superior talked to the big guy first, "Number XV has been in this castle for six months lying in a coma. It's resulted in muscular atrophy. You are to organise an intensive regime so that he'll be fit for work as soon as possible." Then he faced Vexen, "You are to create a potion that'll help muscle growth. I'm sure that is within your capabilities." Finally he faced me, " I seems you are strong enough to get from place to place. Thus you are to accompany Number XIII in his training. He has been here for a week, but has been facing mental difficulties. For now, you can stay in the Grey Area."

We walked through another portal and arrived at a large lounge with a wall of glass giving a clear view of the weird moon thing. I assumed that was Kingdom Hearts. The big guy patted my back,

"Welcome to Organisation XIII." He walked to the young one with obscuring black hair. Just as I was going to follow him, my stomach growled like an animal. Now that I think on it, I hadn't eaten in six months!

"Have you got any food around here?" I asked Vexen.

"Of course, what would you like?" He smiled, but I could see it was fake. It's rather sad really. He summoned a Dusk,

"He'll accompany you to the kitchen, help yourself to anything you want." And off I walked into another black portal, my stomach rumbling in anticipation.

Author's Notes

Well, I'm finally getting some visitors. Thanks guys! Reviews are welcome too. I'll take flames. They're always good for a quick laugh.


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